Coke Sweat

I don't want this blog to turn into an anti-Coke screed, but hey, they're sure not helping their cause.

This is remarkably similar to the tobacco companies' dilemma a while back because really, what do you do to defend a product that essentially has not one redeeming quality?

Desperately trying to inject some fun into what is turning out to be a joyless narrative, Coke is standing itself up to be a target for parodies, mockery and abuse, and it deserves every single iota of it.

For decades now, Coca-Cola (I remind you, it has a hyphen!) and whatever its parent company is (someone should have mentioned the possibility of abortion, in the case of baby Coke) has slammed the public with relentless campaigns of meaningless, drivel-filled slogans (I Feel Coke?) and targeted-to-children strategies, all to peddle a heavily sugared medication—because that's what it is, an addictive drug that, I repeat, has not one redeeming quality.

So as long as Coke keeps shooting itself in the foot, I'll keep mentioning it here.

It is really, really hard to feel sorry for Coke and its beleaguered executives, knowing they will ultimately ride off into the sunset of retirement with multi-million-dollar severance packages, come what may.